Today, on this first official day of Summer (with a capital S) I learned that no one is hiring. And I mean, NO ONE IS HIRING. Every job posting is a joke and a taunt, and I truly believe that they’re ALL fake. Or the job is already taken. This is definitely the worst time to look for a job because everyone’s brain is on temporary vacation until after Labor Day. I’m actually OK with that, but what about afterwards?
Today really was a beautiful day.
I thought about moving forward and moving backwards. I thought about how far ahead of the game I used to be, and how I knew exactly what I wanted and how I was going to get there. But then, somewhere along the way I fell behind, terribly behind, and have used the past year to catch up on the last 5 years that I lost out on, career-wise. Figuring out what you love and what-you’re-meant-to-do-for-the-rest-of-your life is utterly exhausting, and soul crushing and every other life-crushing metaphor you can conjure up. Everybody seemed to have kept moving during those 5 years, but not me. I was happy where I was, at the time until I wasn’t, having missed out on actually enjoying my standing-still time because of my own perfectionist tendencies and academic endeavors. I finally got my chance to be a fuck-up for a while. And it was the best thing I could have ever done, for me.
I got my body tattooed, explored New York City’s farthest reaches and darkest corners, met the most interesting and fucked-up people, spoke to anybody that I could anywhere I could, spent a lot of money, made a lot of money, explored the depths of my sexuality and along the way, fell in love, and I finally discovered what I wanted. Which, funny enough, lead me right back to where I started.
I guess everything is cyclical.
I’m happy to continue on and reach farther and ignore the fact that I fell behind because I gained more than I ever could have in retrospect, if I had followed the traditional path. I think about how miserable I would have been if I didn’t pull over to the side of the road for the while and decide to hitch a ride. Granted it’s not the safest thing in the world, but it sure as hell was fun.
Now, let’s all head to the beach.
Taryn
XO
Taryn's Turn Nyc 
I would never say you “lost” or “wasted” 5 years journeying on the roads less travelled. You’ve learned different things than your contemporaries who went straight to graduate school or corporateville. You’ve progressed in other ways with real life experience.
Wall Street has a term for folks like you who don’t do the standard jump into school or work- they are called “Vagabonds”- those who take a different journey for a few years before returning for an advanced degree such as an MBA. What they lack in professional time logged in, they make up for with being out in the world and living their life on their terms.
And the bottom line, when all is said and done in our life’s journey there is practically ZERO risk that you will look back and say you wished you spent more time in school or in the office…..just doesn’t happen. =)
This is so insightful! Thanks so much!!